How things always take more time and why patience is a superpower

On seeking the balance between optimism and the reality of time

I once read that optimism is important because optimists always underestimate the amount of time and effort things will take.

That makes me an optimist. For a while, I thought it made me a moron. So, I’m happy with this new label.

Here are examples of things that took a minute:

• When Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to become an actor, it took him 6 years to land his first significant film role. Six years!

• Cezanne took 8 years to complete his painting ‘The Bathers’.

• Author Margaret Atwood worked odd jobs for 16 years before she could live off her writing.

• The building of the Notre Dame Cathedral was completed over the course of 200 years.

  

It makes sense intuitively, doesn’t it? Everything good is worth waiting for—or fighting for— or whatever the song says.

There are, of course, those who've experienced swift, meteoric success. But is it the norm? I haven't checked the research, and honestly, I can’t be bothered to.

It seems to me that 90% of the time, success requires time, effort, and countless instances of banging one's head against the wall.

The problem is that we live in an age where:

• Waiting more than 5 minutes for an Uber feels intolerable.

• 150 different cuisines can be delivered straight to your door via an app.

• A 1-hour flight delay can send us into a tailspin—forgetting the pure miracle of flying across oceans, with a ticket booked on the internet, and paid with a card within seconds.

• YouTube and Instagram success stories highlight the outcomes without shedding light on the years of drudgery and near-despair. You get more clicks with ‘6 months to your first million’, ‘ 6 steps to success’, ‘Online Entrepreneur MBA: become your own boss’, ‘12 ways to get the partner you dream of’ etc.

The problem with how fast life has become is that we forget things are not meant to be instantaneous. It’s not natural. What we label as ‘delays’ aren't signs of failure or an inability to make things work. Projects have their own tempo, and it's precisely the right one, even if we sometimes resent it.

I'll admit I have a huge problem with this. I am the epitome of the average consumer: I use Uber, scroll through Instagram, turn to Oprah for (average) life advice, and order from Deliveroo on lazy evenings. I've never grown a single vegetable in my life; I don’t even know how long it would take or what they look like before I find them on a supermarket shelf (that is when I visit one since I often order my groceries online*). I'm a quintessential 21st-century brat: slightly entitled, a tad ungrateful, and ridiculously impatient.

When I read novels set in medieval times, it tells a story of how it takes three days to trek a distance we'd cover in 45 minutes by train, I'm reminded of how artificial our lives have become. We managed to streamline almost every 'physical' aspect of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But as with everything, it comes at a cost.

Unsurprisingly, patience has become a superpower. In the past, societal structures taught patience by default. There was no alternative. You would write letters, send them, and wait. I read that in a Jane Austen or a Bronte novel. #SlowTempoTimes.

So yes, patience isn’t just a ‘virtue’ anymore. The world makes us feel like it’s not a must-have when I would argue it’s the ultimate edge if you want to accomplish anything of value.

Illustration by Brecht Vandenbroucke

Brace for the preachy bit folks, here it comes: You can't build a successful career or business in 6 months. You won’t cultivate a robust circle of friends in a year or a fit body in 2 months. You won’t write a novel in 3 weeks by following a step-by-step method bought on Udemy. That is not how ‘real life’ works.

As the saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait." That's not always true, but certainly, nothing comes to those who don’t.

Until next time my friends,

Lina

PS - Massive favour to ask: do you actually find this okay to read? If yes, please share with exactly 1,5 people that you know would like it too. As a reward, you will get a list of my 3 most hated books. And my eternal gratefulness.