Why you need to stop caring about confidence

Confidence is overrated. That’s my punchline. And my rant against motivational speeches and pop coaching.

Usain Bolt said “My first race I’m always a little nervous because I don’t know if I am still fast […] then I run and my confidence comes”. This is Usain Bolt: World record holder, Olympic champion, in three different categories no less. The dude who finishes his races with a cocky stance. Usain Bolt is always nervous ahead of a competition. Because he knows that no matter how hard he has worked, it might not be enough that year.

Often people tell me, ahead of starting a new job or launching a company: ‘I feel scared - I must work on my confidence’. Which is another way of saying ‘I should not be worried. Being worried means my mindset is faulty and needs upgrading’.

There is big confusion here. BIG. CONFUSION.

When you start something you have never done before. When a project requires a variation of your skills that you're not sure is there. When you don't fully control the outcome because other factors are at play (colleagues, the market, the universe, etc.)…there is NO reason under the sun for you to feel secure. Why would the grace of confidence be bestowed upon you a priori? Who are YOU? Michael Jordan?!

At best, you can move forward with cautious optimism. That cautiousness will mean you only focus on what you can control and prepare to the best of your ability.

What I am trying to say is:

We EARN the feeling of confidence. Confidence builds up when you’re in motion and see results. You’re not entitled to it. Again, who are you? Beyonce?!

Actually, feeling confident before starting a project has NO bearing on the outcome. I swear, there is research behind this. I just can’t be bothered to find it. Here is an experiment: Have you ever met a super confident human who ended up falling flat on their super confident face? I’m not judging, we all fail at times. I’m just saying there is less correlation between confidence levels and success than we think.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it doesn’t suck to have doubts. I’m not saying it’s not emotionally uncomfortable.

I’m saying that if you’re honest with yourself, and clever enough to properly assess the areas of risk, there is an incompressible amount of doubt that you have to carry when undertaking anything bold.

Like trying to win an Olympic gold for the third time after an injury. Or managing a team of 150 people for the first time, like my friend. Or moving across the world with your family for your start-up, like my other friend. Or leaving your banking job and taking a shot at something else, etc. etc. etc.

Now, when does low confidence become a problem? When it prevents action. When you think it’s not worth trying. When you stop being bold. But that’s a topic for another day.

So here is the one thing I want you to remember:

Be bold. It’s a thousand times better than being confident.

Photo: 4 years of work for a 9-second run. This is the stance of utter joy after blood, sweat, tears… and doubt.

PS - The Netflix documentary about Usain Bolt is where the first quote is from.